2012

Came from my dusty dA account and read the last journal i wrote. Something about how depressing 2010 was as I didn't set myself up what I had to do.

That sort of sums up a lot when u think about it......what was worse 2010 or 2011?

Definitely both major depressing years of my life but I felt more it was the period between November 2010 - August 2011..... I seriously had nothing on my to do list and spent the entire time trying to re evaluate my life.. There really is nothing more frightening than being in such a position......funny though......it worked out according to my 3 year theory.......2014 can fuck off

So what have I actually done this year? Gotten into a Bach course for one thing......it took me long enough but I'm finally there...bah almost 4 years later....
Haven't really done much personal work as back in March I was unhappy with my drawing ability and started manically filling up sketch books....think i did about 6 for 2011.....Which i feel isnt enough but definitely something, an epic improvement on my behalf. God ...how do ppl and what do ppl do when they work 18 hours of practice a day? I gotta get into that habit...But aside from sketching, life drawing and school work I really haven't been able to think up any ideas for animation...I guess I still have the anatomy piece to think of but until then. Guess it's something i can look into for 2012 (also need more art supplies sigh).

So far i've bought myself 2 years and whilst I should be comfortable about it and can't help but think that I shouldn't take the time given easy..

For 2012 at least I need and a car and a job......bah fuck ..

For one thing though I can at least agree that i feel much better with myself than I was exactly one year ago, and though I may not be at the point in my life where I want to be right now I can at least say that i'm in a better position and feeling more optimistic and smarter than i was one year ago.

Optimism?

So after a week has a past I reflect on the last 3 months that I............Or year that i had for 2011.
Coming from the painstaking life of nothing that I experienced for half a year I was able to finally continue my education with a bachelor's degree. I never really did get to experience the rest of the goals I had set myself but somehow knew there would be something stopping me for something I did not plan for.

That happened

As much as I wanted to be employed right now I guess I didn't perceive there to be any sense of error. As much as I could bicker over it my only option is to keep trying without any possibility of understanding why i've failed.

But anyway....Next year I have try and fix the whole time management thing. I'll probably organise myself a lot better and only give myself like 2 weeks to complete assignments to give myself enough time to improve. As the employment issue i'll work on that on the holidays hoping that im aware of what im doing....i really want a car. As for volunteer work I feel that i may fail in that again.....as in the volunteer work of applied interest in might have failed. Speaking of which, getting all those other things like volunteer work and running might upset my chances of getting a job.. or that's at least what my paranoia is telling me..sigh..

Gotta be way more positive for next year though. hopefully i can get some extra art work done for the holidays.

Life lesson repeat

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa noooo.....

Just checked my score for the 3rd assignment and i did super badly ....I passed and everything but as a goal of aiming for 80's and 90's it's sot of set me back and put a hold on my confident ability in my work. At first I thought the first few subjects were going to be a breeze but I seem to have gotten cocky with myself later in the year. Time management is something I really flaw in, not just in the sense that I may not contribute enough time to projects but also in the leniency I have at the beginning of an assignments time period. I suppose there's some sort of lesson in all of this but I super hate failing. When I look around I see people who seem to succeed from not failing, which bothers me a lot as I feel that failure is the only thing bothering me.

MED103 Ass 3 Texture map

Here's the colour texture map of the model below...for something that shouldve taken 2 weeks it only took a over damn......I feel so rushed...damn u time management

Plant Hybrid Model

Assignment 3 of modelling class. Actually turned out well for a last ditch effort by i really gotta look over time management over the holiday break

3d Model sheet: plant

Gotta get stuck into modelling this now...also gotta plan better model sheets....wouldv'e tried hard except this isnt a drawing class

2 weeks left

Bah...I really gotta ...meh

Ok then um so far im doing well ...probably into this course thingy. Im up to the part where I have to design a DVD cover or something, modelled character and an essay.....ya know Damn....I had something to write here a day ago but iv'e forgotten

Logo Concepts

New project

Gotta plan for a character design now. I've got no idea what I plan to do yet but I have 3 weeks so it should be cool for now. Should aim for a lot better than this though with a lot less polys (though I still like this model).

MED103 Final concepts

First time using Maya...such a bitch to learn but with previous 3Dsmax XP I felt the transition easier

Still don't care about publishing private work. Ended up having with these as final rendered concepts. Wasn't happy at all (somewhat) with the results but didn't give myself enough time to texture and everything took like 4 times longer that i thought. I plan on going back over the holidays and touching up all this work and making it look somewhat of how I envisioned. Luckily despite the fact I'm confident I won't get an HD, I feel that lighting saved these renders. Also made a logo but thats in video format and cbf uploading to youtube etc

MED103 Design work

I was actually pissed when my visual diary couldn't be submitted analogue and I had to send digital files which had me scan in over 30 A3 pages and I had no idea how to use the scanner and the teacher wasn't around and the entire college was busily rushing around and setting up for an open day.... I guess it saved me from taking photos, but only as a tiny compensation.

Home studio

My weak? example of my some what studio. There really should be a light box in there and other stuff I need to add. The mass of visual diaries isn't really a part of it, I just had a lot of scanning to do from them today

DES101 Final concepts

Despite the fact this is my final work which I handed in last week, I could care less about showing the internet. Next time I'll probably scan work in but regardless for now my crappy camera will have to do. Also I tried to get a HD for this work. I find a out tomorrow (hopefully) and if I did, this is the standard.

DES101 Design work

I pretty much realise that it's been like over a month since when i started this blog, saying I was gunna add stuff each week. I just got really busy with all this work and had no time (not even for heroes!). Summer holidays will be coming up so I won't have much of an excuse anymore.





Some pages from my DES101 visual diary....some of the design work turned out blurry but i could give a fuck. After spending over 3 hours scanning I didn't feel patient/bothered enough to scan this in

Bright and sunny

K.....then

Despite activities I have going in other blogs I decided to start a new one as I'm entering a new chapter of my life. Getting into both uni and a possible part time job has really set my priorities into gear. Part of me is fearing all the challenges that face me but I'm also excited for how I may benefit from all this.

Basically this blog will be updated like every....week maybe? ......all about the stuff I have going on and such. It's only the beginning and I already feel I have a lot more to deal with than previous years. I probably should have started this on the 12th but hell with that.

Also on a side not I'm going to have to learn how to write better. MSN has sort of skewed my typing abilities.